Boiling over

This blog is supposed to be about my love affair with tech and other pieces of information that keeps getting into my head, but I feel the need to rant about what happened to me and Mrs. ‘toy last night. So, bear with me…

We were in Ortigas Center last night for business and a bit of malling at the Galleria. We were on our way home going towards C5 when I had to stop the car on the light on the intersection of Julia Vargas and Meralco Ave. just under that damnable, near useless flyover. I was the first car on the middle lane, with the lane to my right occupied by several motorcycles.

On green, I started stepping on the gas, keeping to my lane. One of the motorcycles on the rightmost lane (he had a monkey) is first off the line and is about a half a car-length ahead of me. By the time I actually crossed the intersection, the motorcycle has started to drift to my lane but still hadn’t actually crossed into it. I didn’t pay it any mind since I was on my own lane and thought the motorcycle would not cross into my lane because: a) there was no one in front of him and b) he wasn’t signaling. When I had actually passed the motorcycle, lo and behold, he starts honking his horn – one of those car horns adapted to a motorcycle.

I reach the stoplight at the next intersection, and the motorcycle starts honking again and stops next to my window with the driver shouting something. I open my window and shouted, “Ano problema mo?”. The motorcycle driver then shouts that I should have at least honked my horn when I passed him back near the first intersection. I shouted back – what for? I was on my lane while you were on yours? He keeps shouting that he was about to move to my lane and nearly bumped my car in the process.

At this point, I was still going to shout some more, just to put him in his place, but Mrs. ‘toy, even at the start of the incident, had already starting pulling on my shirt and kept saying to just leave it alone. So I just closed my window and off he went with some more shouts, an invective and a further honk of his horn. I, on the other hand, tried to suppress my anger. I could literally feel my blood boil, my heart pumping and my head throbbing. Had Mrs. ‘toy not been there, I probably would’ve gotten down the car and slugged that guy.

Mrs. ‘toy asked me what good that did to me, he could have had a gun or something, she asserts. Well, I suppose the situation just got the better of me – months of having to endure the hundreds of stupid motorcycle riders that have crossed my path. And stupid car, jeepney and taxi drivers, plus stupid pedestrians. Add to that all the stress from work, from home and the need to earn more…well I supposed it just boiled over that night.

I apologized to my wife by the time we had to stop for groceries before finally heading home, saying I know it was stupid of me to do that. But that night, I couldn’t sleep right away. The anger, the adrenaline from boiling over was still there, even after watching Top Gear and True Blood. Our little boy decided to sleep next to us, and I tried to focus on him and his sister in order to dissipate the anger and cool off, but images of me shooting/stabbing/beating/biting/elbowing that guy kept creeping into my consciousness. I couldn’t believe how angry I was that night. Eventually, I did fall asleep, only to wake up an hour before schedule. Not a very restful night.

I can still feel my anger from last night, and actually snapped at Mrs. ‘toy not a few minutes ago (SORRY!) for bringing the subject up. I don’t think I will ever be able to get rid of this anger, but I hope I can manage it. If only I could afford my own driver…

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